How do u feel about yourself?

Open any magazine, look through the shelves in the book store, listen to any call-in radio show and you're bound to hear about the hottest of hot topics....improving your self esteem. What exactly does this buzzword mean? Webster's dictionary defines it as "a confidence and satisfaction in oneself." In other words, it's the result of comparing how we'd like to be and what we'd like to accomplish with how we actually see ourselves. Unfortunately, being a girl...and being a teenager...makes the job of owning a healthy self esteem really difficult. It is during these years that we tend to base our self worth too much on what others think.

When do we gain self-esteem?

We begin developing self-esteem as very young children. Early on, girls have less positive body image, a factor that greatly contributes to self-esteem, than boys.

Why does it get worse in adolescence?

Low self esteem in adolescence is based primarily on appearance and peer acceptance. If a friend doesn't include you, you're left feeling unimportant, ugly, fat or just not good enough.

How does how you feel about your body affect your self-esteem?

The modern world glorifies the impossible perfect body, leading the rest of us to feel that we fall short. Too many teens are obsessed to look like the airbrushed stars and pop idols they glorify. Too often it seems that self-esteem is tied to weight. Girls fall into the trap of believing that they are only as good as the scale says they are. Body image depends on attitude...and attitude, which is everything...is something we can control.

What can you do to raise your self-esteem?

1. Find something, whether it's music or sports or academics or dance, that you excel in. Nothing is guaranteed to make you feel good about yourself faster than being successful.

2. Lean on your family for support. Try to see yourself though your grandma's eyes.

3. Figure out who you are, where you came from, and what you're all about. Think about the kind of life you want to lead. Be proud of your uniqueness.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others. Focus on the parts of yourself you like the best.

5. Adolescence is a turbulent time charged with conflict and mood swings. Be proud of the job you're doing surviving this decade. Dwell a bit on your abilities, skills and accomplishments.

.6. Try to silence that inner critic who seems to find fault with so many things you do. That inner critic belongs to you, not your parents or your teacher or your friend. You can decide the message it will send.

7. Make sure your expectations are realistic. It's fine to want to improve....just be sure to aim for accomplishment, not perfection.

8. Exercise. There it is again. You'll unload stress and feel stronger and happier.

9. Practice, each day, writing down three things about yourself that you wouldn't change.

10. Do a good deed. Tutor a younger kid, help clean up your neighborhood, be part of a fund-raising effort for a good cause. Feeling like you're making a difference will definitely improve self-esteem.

11. Straighten up, smile and look straight ahead... you'll look and feel more confident.12. Don't hesitate to ask for professional help if you need it. To heal emotional hurt and build healthy, positive self-esteem sometimes takes some expert guidance. It takes work but the payoff better relationships, sticking with a project until it's done, dealing more easily with disappointments and mistakes is worth every second!